


put your arrows away

by hoodedjustice



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Religious Themes, followed by comfort, idk it's just gay stuff don't ask me, mentioned Homophobia, mentioned Internalized Homophobia, prayer as a motif
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 22:16:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14005989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoodedjustice/pseuds/hoodedjustice
Summary: Jack Morrison wishes he had learned how to pray.





	put your arrows away

**Author's Note:**

> there's brief mention and angst here about internalized homophobia - mostly vague but if you're highly sensitive to that than maybe avoid this. it's not super bad part 1 is soft
> 
> also super not edited please do not even look at me

Gabe is a warm, solid presence. He’s Jack’s rock at night, anchors Jack down in bed when his brain threatens to let him float away, get lost. Nights like these are so very crucial for Jack– when he and Gabe get to be pressed against each other in full, kissing and rocking against each other and pushing each other over the edge.

Being with Gabe like this seeps into Jack’s chest, making hollow spaces full, it’s like lighting a fire under his sternum meant to keep him warm.

Every time they finish together, there’s a brief moment of breathlessness for Jack where he can hardly believe he is graced with this, these quiet moments of intimacy. And then things wind down, and they lay next to each other, and Jack’s heart thrums with pure unadulterated contentedness. Dark envelopes them as Jack remembers how to breathe, and sometimes in the calm that settles between them, Jack can hear beads clicking.

He knows what that means.

Gabe only brings out the rosary this late at night when he’s seeking to relieve guilt, it’s a ritual reserved for whatever happens to weigh most heavily on his mind.

Jack remembers Indiana, remembers what if was like to grow up down the road from a house of God that made him feel so dirty that he couldn’t let himself love men until he’d left that small town thousands of miles and months behind himself. He’s no stranger to the guilt that comes with being told there is something wrong about how you choose to love. He understands. But it still makes him stomach sink, at night, when he considers that perhaps Gabe is asking for forgiveness for what he and Jack do.

Most nights, when the clicking finally stops, Jack merely lets out a breath he didn’t mean to be holding. But sometimes, when he’s feeling brave, he turns in bed, chest pressed to Gabe’s back, calloused fingers curling around scars on Gabe’s shoulder.

“Babe?”

“Hmm?”

Jack lets the silence stretch between them.

“What are you praying about?”

Gabe sighs, it rumbles deeply in his chest, and already Jack feels like an intrusive presence. Though Gabe is not an outwardly religious man, Jack is familiar enough with Gabriel– with his habits, his tattoos, his reliance on faith– to know that is a deep seated relationship. He feels invasive whenever he asks about it.

“Hmm. Got things on my mind.” 

A vague answer for an unwelcome question and Jack has to bite his tongue and remind himself time and again that this is his husband. Gabriel Reyes married him. Gabriel Reyes loves him. Self-doubt is unbecoming. All things he knows but now and then, seems to forget. He rolls away again.

While Jack lays flat on his back, the quiet sounds of beads clicking resume, and both of them continue silently speaking words to themselves. Briefly he wishes his heart would stop pounding so hard in his chest, but then again, isn’t better to feel alive, like this, than be comfortably numb?

He doesn’t know.

He should talk to Gabe about this, he thinks. Keeping secrets like this, keeping insecurities buried– it’s exactly the sort of thing that rots away at the foundations of relationships. Between the stress of Overwatch and the encroaching pressure of Blackwatch activity, Jack’s relationship is being tested enough as is.

Somewhere along the line of his musings, during his dip into worry and fear, the clicking has stopped. A cursory glance to his side shows Gabe leaning out to set his rosary on the nightstand. It doesn’t do anything to calm Jack like he hoped – but then Gabe’s settling into bed again, turning to face Jack and throw an arm over him.

“Thinking too hard,” Gabe mumbles. “Dunno what you’re thinking ‘bout but it’s loud. Go to sleep, baby.”

The return of Gabe’s warm presence has the soothing effect Jack’s been waiting for. Like magic, he feels like he can breathe again. Gabriel Reyes loves him. Self-doubt is unbecoming. Rinse and repeat. It doesn’t take long for Jack’s heart to calm and for him to slip back into feeling drowsy.

“Hey, Gabe,” he murmurs after a minute, shifting to get closer. “I love you.”

Gabe’s eyes remain shut, while he wiggles to accommodate Jack’s shifting until they’re once more both settled. His mouth, though, it curves up into a gentle, familiar smile.

“Love you too, Jack,” he answers easily, without reserve, and that– that is so absolutely healing to hear. After a moment Gabe lifts the lid of one sleepy eye to peek up at Jack. “You good, or do I need to count sheep?”

“I’m good,” Jack hurriedly says, planting a quick kiss on Gabe’s forehead.

Yeah. He was good.

**Author's Note:**

> this is part 1 of 2 and there may be new tags added for the second part so heed those and uh yeah thanks if u read this


End file.
